September 20, 2013 — But this latest act of PETA guerrilla warfare got me thinking: Once and for all, do lobsters, or do they not, feel pain?
Everyone has a routine for cooking lobster. For me and the missus, it goes like this:
I fill the pot with water and turn the stovetop burner to high. At the first sign of boiling, I head for the refrigerator and extract the two little monsters, holding them high as their tails flap wildly above the bubbling water.
I smile maniacally at my loving wife.
She grimaces.
"I'm outta here," she says, fleeing the kitchen as the cover goes down and the death rattle commences. "Let me know when it's over."
Our ritual came to mind this week when People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals released one of its trademark videos showing still-alive lobsters being separated from their shells, purportedly at the Linda Bean's Perfect Maine Lobster processing plant in Rockland.
Claiming that the process violates Maine's Animal Welfare Act, PETA on Wednesday made good on its vow to file a criminal complaint against Bean's operation with the Rockland Police Department.
"All we are concerned with is determining whether a criminal violation has occurred under Maine's animal cruelty law," said Police Chief Bruce Boucher after examining the complaint Thursday morning.
Good luck with that one, Chief.
Under the statute, an "animal" is defined as "every living, sentient creature not a human being."
(The operative word here is "sentient," defined by Merriam-Webster as "able to feel, see, hear, smell or taste.")
Maine law also defines "torment, torture and cruelty" against animals as "every act, omission or neglect, whether by the owner or any other person, where unjustifiable physical pain, suffering or death is caused or permitted."